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DEAR ABBY: I’m a 40-plus-year-old single male. I not too long ago began hanging out with one in every of my good friend “Tom’s” ex-girlfriends. It’s now turning into greater than buddies. “Pam” and I each have emotions for one another. She and Tom dated for 5 months and broke up eight months in the past.
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Do I owe it to Tom to ask his permission or inform him I’m seeing her? Pam has requested me to not say something and to let him discover out on his personal, which can occur as a result of now we have many mutual buddies. I wish to respect her selection. But in addition, as Tom’s good friend, I really feel the appropriate factor to do is inform him. Please advise. I’m caught between her needs and doing what I believe is correct. — STUCK IN THE MIDDLE IN IOWA
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DEAR STUCK: Have a chat with Pam. Clarify that you’re not certain how Tom will react if he sees the 2 of you arm-in-arm with no warning. He could not care, however he additionally could possibly be upset that you’re courting and hid it from him. Then inform Pam that, in gentle of your friendship with Tom, you like being upfront as a result of it’s respectful and also you don’t like maintaining secrets and techniques.
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DEAR ABBY: My mother died a few years in the past and left behind many collectibles which might be price reselling. I’m the oldest of 5 youngsters and have spent essentially the most effort and time shifting out her assortment, with a number of assist from two of my siblings, “some” assist from one and completely none from one other one.
In her final days, Mother talked about to not “overlook concerning the gold.” She had collected some scrap gold that I offered for $900. I’ve been sorting by the remaining stock with no assist from any of my siblings. Is it improper of me to not share that money with them? — OVERWHELMED SIBLING
DEAR OVERWHELMED: For those who actually felt snug pocketing the cash, you wouldn’t be asking me this query. Hearken to your conscience and share the proceeds from the sale of the valuable metallic along with your siblings. To go away one in every of them out would assure an estrangement.
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DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine was requested to depart a restaurant after the test had been paid as a result of individuals had been ready for tables, and he was extremely insulted. My place was that it was courteous to depart as a result of individuals had been ready to have their dinner. He felt the waitress had no proper to ask their celebration to depart. What’s your tackle this? — COURTEOUS IN THE EAST
DEAR COURTEOUS: I consulted Priscilla, operations supervisor at my favorite restaurant in Beverly Hills, about your query. She defined that some eating places have a 90-minute time restrict for diners to depart the restaurant. (For bigger events, it may be as much as 120 minutes.)
My tackle that is that fairly than making it the duty of the server to ask your good friend to surrender the desk, the MANAGER ought to have come over and carried out it. It needn’t be an disagreeable alternate. A supervisor could typically provide the patron a seat on the bar and a free drink or dessert within the title of excellent buyer relations.
— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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